by Nick Bradshaw and James Dunn
Four students found themselves stuck in the elevator at Woodbridge High School with no means of escape this past Saturday, precluding them from taking the SAT exam.
The students, who requested anonymity, citing the ridicule and shame they feel, said it was an unfortunate experience, especially when they realized they were in it for the long haul. Woodbridge High School is known for having minimal cell phone service, so calling for help was out of the question, as was the obvious answer of hitting the emergency button, since the elevator was not equipped with one, possibly due to budget cuts.
The helpless students were trapped for an astonishing eight and a half hours, and ended up missing the SAT exam they had prepared for. It was noted that one of the students ate Taco Bell breakfast, leading to a very smelly situation. “The new sausage grilled breakfast burrito wasn’t a great idea,” he said. “I wouldn’t recommend it.”
The students realized that if they were to be trapped for a long period of time, morale would have to be kept high, especially in light of their “stinky situation.” Student #1 said, “We sang a few folk songs, and played a couple rounds of tag, but that didn’t last long.”
It was not until Mr. Perry, a history teacher at Woodbridge High School, came to the rescue. Mr. Perry, who was proctoring the SAT exam that morning, was attempting to leave the building when he discovered the trapped pupils. He waited an astounding 3 hours, from 1:00 PM to approximately 4:00 PM, for the elevator to arrive.
“Patience is a virtue, you know,” said Perry, “Usually, I’d take the stairs, but after proctoring a test for 5 hours, you would want to take the elevator, too”.
As time went on, the patient history teacher realized things weren’t adding up. He called for a custodian, and together, the two men pried open the elevator doors to reveal an intense game of Texas Hold’em being played.
“I had pocket aces and was in line for a straight at the minimum,” recalled Student #2. The students were promptly escorted from the building, and had their tests rescheduled. As for the elevator, it was promptly removed the following day, although echoes of the students’ folk songs still ring through the hallways.
