by Jordon Gulyas & Julian Encabo

Mr. Yalama has recently become the proud new owner of a domesticated South American camelid. Named “The Yalamanator,” this precious llama gives Mr. Yalama rides as he pleases and defends his home from predators.

Purchased on February 26, 2015, Mr. Yalama got his new best friend from a website called lamamarket.com, a well-known market for buying and selling llamas and alpacas. Suggesting that it is quite possibly the best purchase ever made, Yalama is quite satisfied.

“With dark brown wool and a menacing black face, what more would I need in a companion?” Mr. Yalama said about his new acquisition.

Surprisingly, Mr. Yalama decided to purchase a llama while he was watching television. “I was watching Animal Planet the other day when I felt that there was a tiny, empty space in my heart that could only be filled with a llama,” he said.

Although llamas are often used to defend livestock, Mr. Yalama doesn’t have any, so The Yalamanator protects its lifelong companion with all his might. Yalama has also trained his llama to defend his property against other predators, especially The Mailman.

According to Yalama, an added benefit of having a llama as transportation is that it’s environmentally friendly; the money saved from riding The Yalamanator has gone into buying cabbages for his “little pumpkin.”

At press time, Mr. Yalama and his companion reside in a place where The Mailman has an innate fear of llamas.