by Emily Murphy

English teacher Mr. O’Halloran temporarily lost what little sanity he had left after misplacing his beloved Spider-Man lunchbox. The immediate separation anxiety drove O’Halloran towards nothing short of madness.

Senior Matthew Corcoran, who was unfortunate enough to witness O’Halloran’s traumatic breakdown, recalled the traumatic scene. “Chairs were being thrown everywhere, and his face was so red, it took on the same hue as his oddly colored beard,” said Matthew.

Mrs. Hain, who had been working with Mr. O’Halloran for years, described the scene as horrific. “I had no idea his attachment to it was that intense, but then again, it explains why he still carries it at age 31.”

Although he didn’t want to comment on the incident, Principle Mr. Lottmann seemed to express little pity for O’Halloran.

Shortly after, the English Department clique confronted O’Halloran about the devastating incident.

“We held a group therapy session in attempt to fix him. We tried to get him to open up about how he felt about the whole situation. He was not very cooperative,” said his father, Mr. Switek.

Mr. O’Halloran was too distraught to make any comments regarding the catastrophe. A memorial service for the $12 superhero lunchbox will be held in the auditorium on May 3rd, 2017.