Within the next few years, Woodbridge High School will be adding new sports to the athletic program, including swimming, golf, cheerleading, band, and tennis. These sports have been highly requested by the students and the faculty.

The idea of the new sports was made public by Athletic Director of the Year, Mr. Ward. “I feel like new sports teams will benefit the students a lot and give them a wide variety of options to participate in the most important aspect of high school,” Ward said. “Golf, cheerleading, band, and tennis will re-energize our sports program and bring back the excitement to our recently struggling athletics.”

“We have had a cheerleading team here for nearly 5 years. We won a national championship. We even had our own competition in our gymnasium,” said apparent cheerleading coach, Ms. Gulics. “I’ve seen Mr. Ward and Mr. Lottmann at our cheerleading competitions. They love our cheer team.”

Mr. Ward had no idea that what he had witnessed was a cheerleading competition. “Really? That’s what that was?” Mr. Ward said. “I only watch football here. Or so I thought.”

When the news was released that the school would be adding a marching band to Woodbridge High School, many people were excited, although a group of self-proclaimed “band parents,” called and emailed Mr. Ward and Mr. Lottmann to voice their frustration.

“My son has put his blood, sweat, and tears into that trumpet for years now. He marches around that field with pride, and he is proud to be a Marching Barron. The band deserves more respect than what they are getting,” said irate band parent who wished to stay anonymous.

“It is terrible,” Mr. Ward said. “I’ve received death threats from this group of people incorrectly claiming we’ve had a band for decades–that I can live with–, but someone said that they hope we cancel our football program. They can’t cancel our football program. What’s the point of high school if there is no football team?”

The new teams will take money away from the school’s student activities budget and WHS will have to take out air conditioners on the third floor to offset the additional costs. In addition, Mr. Lottmann said the school will have to sell its fleet of 3D printers.

“We did the math and we’re going to have to get rid of the 3D printers,” Mr. Lottmann said. “I know, I know, it’s crazy, but so are the greens fees for the new golf team. We’re working on a possible solution–oh wow! We’ll just 3D print more! Nevermind. Problem solved. Golf, yeah. It’s a great sport, from what I hear.”

Students have reacted positively to the chatter about new sports, including natural athletes who hope to walk onto the new teams next year.

“I can’t wait to try out for the tennis team,” junior Nigel Pala said. “We’ve had those beautiful courts sitting there for a while now and, even though I had no idea what they were for, now that I know, I want to put some spin on my sweet, sweet serve.”

Until then, Woodbridge High School will have to stick to its optimistic view of the future, and speculation. “I can’t wait to see what these teams have to offer and I cannot believe we are adding swimming to our athletic program. I have no idea what a swim game looks like, or entails, but it should be a lot of fun watching our gifted athletes score some touchdowns,” said Mr. Ward.

The Barron Perspective wishes all sports teams the best of luck in their upcoming and future seasons and encourages all students to come out to support those sports that are not football.