By: Amanda Liska

“The cockroach problem at Woodbridge High School has gotten out of hand.” These are the words of Ms. Sampaio, a Woodbridge High School math teacher who was at her wit’s end with the nuisance critters. So, she decided to do something about it.

To solve this issue, Ms. Sampaio decided to adopt the cockroaches in an effort to stop their oppressive hold over the building, now in its 60th year. “These insects destroy lockers, make faculty sick, and threaten kids for their lunch money,” she said. “It’s insane. Students and staff have complained over and over again, so I decided to adopt the 3,427,000 insects to help take care of the problem, and to make my algebra II class more enjoyable.”

During the five minute interval between blocks, Ms. Sampaio’s students walk the cockroaches around the school, play with them, and feed them. So far, the new arrangement has paid off: some of the roaches have even begun tutoring struggling math students.

“The cockroaches have added a lot of fun to my math classes,” Ms. Sampaio said.

The students, who were hesitant at first, are even coming around. Sophomore Alyssa Alterado said, “My favorite cockroach is Sherbert. He’s so adorable and helps me out with math. It’s crazy that people actually thought these cockroaches were harmful.”

Ms. Sampaio would like to add that no pest-related issues have been reported since the cockroaches were adopted.