By Eamonn Gonzalez

Joshua Dibb, a junior at Woodbridge High School, underwent amputations as a form of payment for the newly-installed air conditioning throughout the school.

Reportedly, Dibb was fed up with the absurdly high temperatures classrooms would reach in the spring and summer. When he vowed to give an arm and a leg for air conditioning, nobody was aware that he meant it literally.

Dibb said, “I figured that the well-being of myself and other students was more important than having all four limbs. It almost felt selfish to keep them.”

School principal Mr. Lotman said, “I was considerably disturbed at first, but I eventually warmed up to the offer. No pun intended since, you know, air conditioning keeps you cool.” The administration sold the arm and leg to an anonymous laboratory and used the money to fund Dibb’s request.

Students around the school have been appreciative of his tremendous sacrifice. Junior George Glass said, “That was so cool of Josh. With the summer coming up, he really gave us a big hand. Oh…”

In response to all the praise, Dibb didn’t think much of his sacrifice. “I have a nice wheelchair and I got to keep my right arm,” Dibb said, “so my donation wasn’t much of a setback.”