Students Complain of Not Hearing Anything After Using AirPods


Nathaniel Nieves complains to his friend on how he can’t hear anymore. This epidemic has arisen to over 78 percent.

Kanwal Chohan, Writer

A crisis has arisen for the students of Woodbridge High School.  Students who own AirPods have complained that they “can’t hear broke.”

It is inferred that AirPods are causing students to go deaf. Woodbridge High School’s principal, Mr. Lottmann, fears that by the end of the year, none of the students will be able to hear anything.

Mr. Lottmann had to send out an email to parents suggesting that they should not purchase the widely popular Apple product for their children due to the severe effects. The email expressed a lot of concern for the students of Woodbridge High School.

“Parents, there have been a large number of students who have fallen deaf after using AirPods. When asked to remove their headphones, the students always respond with the phrase, ‘Can’t hear broke.’ The phrase means that people who own AirPods are too rich to hear other people who don’t have AirPods. For the benefit of the children, I advise you to remove the toxic Apple product from your child’s possession. Thank you.”

Nour Abusharia, a senior at Woodbridge High School, is shocked to see her fellow classmates in despair. She is concerned about her friends and the school as a whole.

“Honestly I was going to be purchasing AirPods, but I’m happy I didn’t,” Abusharia said.

Some believe that this is Mr. Lottmann’s way of getting rid of headphone usage in school, while others believe that everyone who has used AirPods will now suffer from hearing impairment. If this becomes more of a problem, the school board is planning on taking action. They will be taking every students’ AirPods if seen in the hallway.

The question most students are asking themselves is “What will they do with the AirPods?”

Some suggest Mr. Lottmann, Mr. Perry, and Mr. Chiera are beginning a collection of the AirPods so they can sell them on eBay to provide Woodbridge High School with more funds to improve the overall school environment.

“Hey, you might not be able to hear broke,” Mr. Lottmann said, “but you’ll be able to hear the new air conditioning units we’re getting.”