Mr. Jago Finally Tall Enough to Enjoy Amusement Parks


Mr. Jago stepping into Six Flags and pointing to the rides. Now that he is of height, he decided to buy a season pass to go every weekend.

This year, the senior class is planning on renting out the popular amusement park Six Flags for their senior night and they are in need of chaperones. Mr. Jago, an English teacher, was most excited when volunteering for the position.

During his doctor’s checkup in November of 2019, he received the exciting news that he has finally reached the height of 4’4. In other words, he now has access to the adult rides in the amusement park. 

“I used to hate it when my students would tell stories about Six Flags and brag about how they rode all these crazy roller coasters like the Harley Quinn Crazy Train or something. I used to think to myself, ‘must be nice’,” Jago said. “But now that I’ve reached the required height to ride all the fun rides, I can enjoy myself too.” 

Although he still does not meet the height requirement for several popular rides such as King da Ka, Nitro, Bizzaro, or the Joker, he can ride El Toro. “I just want to be able to go on a ride and not have to sit with an elementary school student for once,” said Mr. Jago.

“I have to admit, roller coasters are one of the most entertaining things in the world. If I didn’t meet the height requirement, I don’t know what I would do,” said Mr. Smith, a math teacher who stands at 6’ 3.

Ever since his doctor’s check-up in November, he has been walking the halls with confidence. As soon as he was informed of his height, he impulsively bought a season pass to the amusement park. 

“I remember the feeling of being able to ride the big boy rides,” Mr. Woodhull began. “In the fourth grade!” said Mr. Woodhull who also stands at 6’ 3.  

Mr. Jago is planning to visit the amusement park soon to warm up to the rides. Mr. Hoyer, robotics teacher, is planning on tagging along in order to prevent him from slipping through the seats.

“It takes a big man to cry, but It takes an even bigger man to laugh at that man,” said Mr. Hoyer who stands at 6’4.

“According to scientists, it is almost physically impossible to increase your height after the age of 18,” Mr. Jago said, “Keyword: almost.”

For the past year and a half, Mr. Jago has been drinking large amounts of milk as well as doing yoga in his free time to “stretch out his bones.” Although it was extremely unexpected, Jago successfully grew two inches in the past six months. The Woodbridge High School family is proud of him and his accomplishment. 

“It’s only up from here,” says Mr. Jago.