It was a sad day for Woodbridge theater kids. Drama Club had failed to host a meeting for the first Tuesday in nearly twenty years. The reason? An all-out war due to Coke and Pepsi.

During a Drama Club meeting, Mr. Lynch brought soda as he typically did. Due to the local ShopRite being out of Pepsi, he only brought Coke to the meeting. This is where rage struck. This is where the drama started.

“I thought high of Mr. Lynch,” Drama Club co-advisor Mr. T said, “however, him forcing my students to consume Coca-Cola was appalling. I had to stand up for myself and my traumatized students. Aunt Tilly would have done the same.”

Mr. T made quite the scene when this occurred. He grabbed a skull out of his closet and began monologing about the evils of Coca-Cola and how incredible Pepsi was. Anonymous students told us he even took the bottles of Coke and poured it on his codirector’s head.

“I thought of Mr. Terrell as a brother,” said Mr. Lynch once he returned from the shower, “he was my best friend. His taste in soda is appalling and a disgrace to the theater at Woodbridge High School.”

Drama Club Fallout

Because the advisors will not talk to each other after Mr. Lynch filled T’s residence, Room 150, with Coke, Drama Club has been postponed. This war has even spread to the students.

“I consider this place a second home,” said senior Cass Ramos, “however it’s hard to when people are this ignorant towards soda. There’s this girl Riley who played a girl with pigtails last year who insists that Pepsi is better. YEARS of friendship down the toilet because of her horrendous decisions.”

When asked for a response, Riley chose not to comment but did choose to give the Barron Perspective staff a Pepsi each. As it stands, the Drama Club has been indefinitely postponed due to far too much drama.