Last week, Mr. Osborne sent out an email to all staff and parents stating that beginning next week, all WHS students are required to present their birth certificates when using the bathroom in our school.

This new rule has been put in place to combat the rising rate of identity theft and hall roaming taking place at our school. Students have begun signing in using others’ names to avoid their bathroom usage being tracked.

“I can’t believe it,” said an anonymous WHS student, “I thought the AI cameras were crazy, this is actually crazy.”

Any student who does not comply with this new arrangement will be sent to the main office to wait until their identity is confirmed. 

“I sat there and waited for two hours until my mom came with my birth certificate. But I got out of English class so I’m not mad,” said a second anonymous student.

The office is now packed with students waiting to use the bathroom. Due to this, the secretaries have been forced to stand.

On top of that, students are now out of class considerably longer. Students are out of class for an extra seven minutes on average due to this rule.

This new rule seems to cause more problems than it fixes. Despite this, administration will be doubling down on the new policy. Even some teachers have taken to the new rule.

“Hall roaming is down 56%,” said an anonymous teacher, “this is a great rule. Everything is great.”

However, ninety-nine percent of students polled do not believe everything is great. However, one percent support it. This poll has a one percent error.