Lottmann Stuck on “Good Morning” Loop


Michael Thomas

WHS principal Dr. Lottmann seen in his office, already stuck on the “Good morning” loop before students arrived. If trends continue, he will say “Good morning” to everyone in the school.

Brianna Paone, Reporter

Reports from the Woodbridge High School front office indicate that Dr. Lottmann was heard repeating “good morning”, over and over, even with nobody around. Some say he is on autopilot.

Others compared the situation to a broken record. 

It is nothing out of the ordinary to be greeted by Dr. Lottmann, principal of Woodbridge High, with a friendly “good morning” or quick conversation in the morning while entering Woodbridge High.

Though, as of late, reports of Dr. Lottmann being in a trance of only saying “good morning” repeatedly with no break have surfaced.

On this matter, Ms. Golden, a school secretary near the front office, said, “I think it has gotten to a point where he is programmed to say ‘good morning’. He does it even when no one is around him, we are all very concerned.”

Students who use the main entrance to enter Woodbridge High have also shared similar reports, with students having tried to have a conversation with Dr. Lottmann in the morning being greeted with an endless cycle of “Good mornings.”

Dr. Lottmann has become known for his speaking at incredible speeds, closely resembling the stylings of the “mumbling rap” music genre.

On the allegations, Dr. Lottmann claims that he has no recollection of these happenings and that any report of the rumors is false.

After this situation became more public to the students of Woodbridge High, it has taken over Dr. Lottmann’s life. He says he gets flyers for “Speed Talking Competitions” delivered to his house and has been nicknamed “Speedy Mouth Lottmann” by students and staff alike, just not to his face.

In response to this, Dr. Lottmann has come out and said he still believes that this is all a hoax and he speaks normally.

When asked one morning about the situation, Dr. Lottmann responded with, “Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.” and continued even after no one was around, all but confirming recent reports.

To this day, Dr. Lottmann continues his extremely quick talking and is still mumbling on autopilot every morning near the front office.