School NFTs Divide Students In Ownership War


Michael Thomas

A “Bored Barron Ape” as seen in the recent WHS NFT collection. This particular ape features it wearing a WHS logo embroidered on a cowboy hat.

Angel Vega, Reporter

Principal Dr. Lottmann has started sales on his long-awaited Bored Barrons non-fungible token collection, comprising of two hundred different variations of the “Bored Barron”.

NFT, as mentioned, stands for non-fungible token, and when one buys an NFT, they pay for ownership of the image. Recently, NFTs have become raised in popularity and have sold for millions of dollars.

When asked why he wanted to start selling NFTs, Dr. Lottmann, principal of Woodbridge High School, stated, “Because I only care about money.”

He plans on selling each NFT for ten thousand dollars adding, “People are stupid enough to buy them.”

These limited NFTs will be exclusive to WHS but will be limited to one per person. “Every student that owns one of the Bored Barrons NFT will automatically get an A+ in a class of their choosing,” Dr. Lottmann added, “Additionally, if a teacher buys an NFT, they will get a two week paid vacation.” 

Rumors are quickly spreading through the school that Dr. Lottmann has forced a teacher at the school, Mr. Stadt, to create the NFTs on threats of termination.

Mr. Stadt claims the inspiration for the Bored Barrons NFT was not from the Bored Ape Yacht Club NFTs. “The two hundred NFTs will have different staff heads on them and some limited ones will have student heads on them,” Stadt stated. When asked if he was threatened to take on this task, he said, “For legal reasons, no I was not,“ while winking.

Woodbridge High students have been divided on their opinions of the NFT sales. One student, senior Liam Kelly, an owner of one of the Bored Barrons NFTs, said, “I think I’m better and smarter than everyone else,” when asked how he feels about owning a Bored Barron.

Since the release of the NFTs, students have tried to claim they own an NFT to get an A+ in a class. Kelly added, “All the students trying to steal my NFT by screenshotting it and claiming it as their own will be sued and charged to the maximum extent.”

Students in the school have since made their profile pictures the NFTs Kelly owns in an effort to mock him.