Perspective Canceled Over April 1st Backlash

Every year, the Barron Perspectives April Fools Articles have brought joy to many. Though, after being canceled, this will be the papers last.

Michael Thomas, Editor-in-Chief

Due to the immense backlash from those mocked in the Barron Perspective’s April Fools articles, calls for the Perspectives cancelation, coming from many fronts, are being met.

We regret to inform readers that this article will be the Perspective’s last.

Modeszto Malities

Among the loudest of outcries come from Mr. Modeszto, the subject of multiple articles including “Modeszro Goes to AGT to Sing Alma Mater” and “Modeszto Claims to see Teddy R. at Wawa”.

In comments gathered from various sources (as Modeszto declined interview), Modeszto said, “These past few hours have been life-ruining. My family won’t look me in the eye anymore.”

Specifically, people believe that Modeszto actually sang the WHS alma mater on America’s Got Talent and tarnished its immaculate reputation. On this, while quivering, he said, “I would never in my life tarnish the… the alma mater.”

Furthermore, WHS faculty have brought Modeszto’s mental state and therefore his job status into question, as also reported was his spotting of Teddy Roosevelt at a Wawa. He denies the accusation.

Modeszto is currently seeking counseling from school support counselor Mrs. Joao.

Chittum Conundrums

Further backlash came from Mr. Chittum, teacher and tech liaison, who “went through five stages of grief due” to the loss (promotion) of fellow teacher Mr. O’Halloran. “I had allowed myself for use in the article. Though, If I knew to what extent, this would have never happened,” said Chittum.

Students are now reluctant to go to the “grieving” Chittum for Chromebook repairs, causing teachers to take note of lower student participation in class. 

For those who dare to go, Chittum is rejecting service until the paper is down, further complicating the matter.

Further Backlash and Canceled State

Reportedly, the portrayal of yelling at clouds upsets Mr. Zima. When searched out for comment, colleagues said he was out “yelling at clouds, morosely”.

Janitorial and lunch server strikes have also spawned from the fray.

These collective bashings have led to “#BurntheBarron” to trend throughout social media. As a result, readership for the articles has been near zero.

Potential further escalation has led the paper’s staff to the conclusion that it can’t move into the future, being “canceled”.

In the past, pieces like “WHS Funnels Money to Sports Complex, 3rd 3D Printer” caused outrage among the unsuspecting and “Infamous Gym Pool to Close” furthered the tales of the Woodbridge High School folklore, all without extreme backlash.

Overall, many ONCE looked forward to what the Perspective had in store each year.

From the entire Barron Perspective staff, we would like to thank you for decades of readership from the print to the digital age. 

We hope to see you next school year when the heat has died down.