Mr. Switek Takes Oath

English Teacher Mr. Switek takes an oath to never tell a story again.


Mr. Switek taking the oath.

Savannah Alamo, Photojournalist

The students at Woodbridge High School are allegedly going crazy as a result of Mr. Switek’s innovative teaching methods. For the remainder of his teaching career, Mr. Switek promised to keep a straight face at all times. In fact, he even took an oath to hold himself accountable to his promise.

Since students were engaging with their teachers too frequently, administrators thought it was better for English teachers to follow the curriculum even closer. As a result, Switek was required to take this oath.

It was, contrary to the belief of school administration, having a negative impact on kids.

Students were complaining to supervisors that his stories were making them believe that they were Mr.Switek. They have also mentioned that they are starting to receive “Switek-like tendencies”, some have even said that they are beginning to resemble Mr. Switek.

Mr. Switek has claimed that his stories had “…anything to do with the curriculum”. And that they are “…helping the human race grow”. Students who claimed similar results yet are vehemently opposed to Mr. Switek’s life-changing oath.

Junior Max Jones announced to the Barron Perspective that he would no longer be attending any English classes until the changes to Mr. Switek’s teaching methods were reversed.

Beginning next week, scientists and physicists from all over the world will travel to examine Mr. Switek.

Many people believe he is seeking to develop an entire race of “Frankensteins.”

Expected Changes

This investigation is expected to last for the foreseeable future. It is projected to last half a year, but we will not know for sure until we receive further information. It is advised to visit the school website’s calendar for changes, as schedules are subject to change.

Students who notice any changes in themselves, their dreams, or anything else and wish to seek restitution can contact the institution.