Barron Perspective Ran out of Ideas

The Barron Perspective Writers have ran out of anything resembling a decent, newsworthy idea.


Kevin Modeszto

Barron Perspective

Kevin Modeszto, Reporter

Some keen viewers have noticed that some articles seem to be repeated, or some ideas were used multiple times. This is all because the Barron Perspective ran out of ideas. 

Since the last head of the newspaper, Mr. O’Halloran, left, the writers of The Barron Perspective have seemingly run out of ideas.

“It’s been difficult,” said Senior editor and only competent writer Michael Thomas, “…back when I was in Journalism One, things were optimistic. The entire newspaper was full of enthusiasm. But, as COVID happened and especially now with O’Halloran leaving, things are in a dire state.”

There was a meeting gathered by Thomas in a desperate attempt to come up with anything resembling a decent idea. Many ideas were thrown out there, some of the most notable ones are listed here.

The Meeting

The Origin of G’Mornin, which would have just been reusing a past satire article and passing it off as reality.

Football Eliminated in the First Round of the Playoffs, which would have been topical five months ago, and every year around that time.

“Mr. Modeszto Stands on Desk”, which happens once a week and would hardly count as news.

“English Department Creates Curriculum of Dead White Guysgot rejected due to there being no new curriculum created. 

“Cafeteria Serves Pizza”, stretches the term “news”. 

“Math Teacher Retires After Finding X”, which was just the student wishing his math teacher would retire. 

Drama Club Postponed Due to Too Much Drama is simply not true, they just paused due to the musical. 

“Cheetah Sets Record Lap on the Track”, which is a human interest story posted ten times already, all of which were purely for clicks, that was made up to begin with. 

“Teacher Profile: Mr. Hyman”, which got rejected because there is no teacher named Mr. Hyman. 

Junior editor Josh Ruck said, “I don’t know what I was doing there. I showed up, watched the Mets with my friends, think I heard something about pork roll or Sycamore Senior Center or something, then angry Michael dismissed it. This newspaper truly has lost any importance.”

However, not all hope is lost.

Sophomore Haley Carlson said “I am excited for my second year of journalism. I can’t wait to bring my new ideas to the newspaper, and hopefully save it from dying the cold, brutal death it is headed towards.”