by Amber Mochan and Marilyn Raymundo-Sanchez
It’s no secret Woodbridge High School is lacking in “hipster” teachers compared to its neighboring high schools within the district. However, beginning next school year, that minuscule number will increase, causing WHS to have the most hipster faculty members in the state.
The qualities WHS is looking for in potential hipster teachers include: independent thinking, counter-culture value, creativity, wit, and lots and lots of vintage.
Such qualities are appealing to WHS principal Mr. Lottmann, who said, “Woodbridge High is a school filled with life. We believe the work-ethic of so-called ‘hipster’ teachers is beneficial to our school in that it promotes individuality, leadership, and creative analytic thinking within our students.”
Many of WHS’s current teachers are adopting the lifestyle of a hipster in order to deflate any doubts that they are not fit for teaching at the school any longer. They have turned to the reigning hipster king for four years straight, Mr. O’Halloran, for advice on hipsterdom so they can avoid being replaced by incoming teachers.
“I’m truly honored that my fellow faculty members turned to me for advice. I enjoy the hipsterdom and wish to share it so that some of the current teachers can love it, too. Now, we can all partake in Bow Tie Tuesday and Sweater Vest Thursday,” said Mr. O’Halloran.
First year business teacher and the newest hipster to WHS, Mr. Nowicki stated, “Even though I am new to WHS, I’m glad to share my insight on what it is to be a hipster to my companions within the faculty. The students will surely appreciate the effort their teachers are exemplifying in order to assimilate to the hipster lifestyle.”
However, there are still some teachers unwilling to make the change to hipsterdom. “I hate hipsters,” said English teacher and Senior Class Advisor, Mr. Switek. “They annoy me and I refuse to become one under any circumstance. They’re just too mainstream for my liking.”
Despite expected resistance, students around the school have been noticing the change within the faculty. The teachers who have been talking to Mr. O’Halloran and Mr. Nowicki for advice have been discussing indie rock with their students and sneering at what is mainstream, all in the hopes of securing their jobs for years to come. Or until it becomes too trendy.
