by Leanza Isip

Woodbridge High School Junior Devin Bhatti was recently released from John F. Kennedy Hospital following an immediate gastrectomy. The cause: consumption of a take-home assessment.

Bhatti’s close friend, who has requested anonymity amidst the embarrassment surrounding the event, explained the shock and confusion that he felt upon seeing his peer’s alarming situation.

“It was during the end of AP Language Review. We were getting ready to hand in our review sheet, and I saw him ripping a piece of paper and eating it. I thought it was a stress thing, since the review was really getting to him,” he said.

Mrs. Kreisel, Woodbridge High School’s AP Language teacher, recounted the events, saying, “I thought nothing of it at first. I thought he was eating a breakfast wrap. AP Review runs from 7:00-7:40am, so students usually bring their breakfast to class.”

Bhatti, although appearing physically stable, alarmed his review class, who eventually noticed his abnormal actions. “He looked really anxious and stressed for some reason. Everyone is usually focused and ready to learn in AP Lang review, so he got sent down to the nurse,” said one of Bhatti’s classmates.  

Woodbridge High School’s nurse, Mrs. Gralla, expressed her concern. “As soon as I saw him, I knew what happened and called the paramedics. I try to get to the root of my patient’s issues as fast as possible.”

Following Bhatti’s release from the hospital, he said that, in addition to the review sheet, surgeons found various AP assignments for classes such as Biology, Psychology, and History.

“I was just trying to absorb as much information as I can,” Bhatti said. “With AP Exams coming up, I need to know the material like the back of my hand.”

In light of the incident, Mead, a renowned school supply corporation, has announced they’re working on a line of flavored notebooks, including soft shell crab, mango salsa, and steamed prawn.

Bhatti, now fully recovered and looking forward to the AP exams, intends to complete his junior year free of any stress and unintentional medical scares.